Bye Bye Pins

Lately I've been addicted to the site P'interest. If you haven't checked it out, it is a site that is designed to be a virtual bulletin board where you can "pin" pictures of things you like. It's pretty interesting to see what other people pin. I've found some recipes that I've actually tried, like this broccoli and these quinoa burgers. I've found tons of home decorating ideas and craft projects, most of which I will likely never attempt. It's fun to dream though and have the ideas there in case one day I have that moment where I decide to tackle some DIY project.

More than all that though, I found myself pinning recipes of sinful looking desserts. They abound on the pin. You can't get away from them, and there are some truly spectacular looking sweets on there. I mean, take a look at just a sampling of my "board" Sweet Stuff.

I kept pinning them, telling myself it was for one day when I could handle having foods like that in my house. Or waiting for some special occasion.

I realized this weekend though they were holding me back. As I sat wiping the drool off my keyboard, I found myself sinking into that place that I hate so much. The place that is like my 5-year-old when she doesn't get her way, and wants to throw a tantrum and scream "It's not fair!!!" I feel that way sometimes, when I've been a good girl and resisted temptation after temptation. It gets to a point where it gets hard, where I want to say I'm done, I've had enough, I don't want to deny myself anymore. I want to plunge in and try every one of those recipes you see there, plus about 10 times more.

But that is not what God wants for me. As Lysa TerKeurst says in Made to Crave, "I am made for more." And I am. I am made for so much more than the person I've been the last few years. God did not make me to be grumpy and tired all the time, depressed and miserable because of the state of my body. My physical health had started to an effect on my mental health and I cannot be my best to serve Him in such a state.

" God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. And remember, when you are being tempted, do not say, “God is tempting me.” God is never tempted to do wrong, and he never tempts anyone else. Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death." James 1:12-15

This verse stood out to me as I wanted to whine about the everpresent temptations. God does not say that temptation will ever end. Temptation isn't a one-time event that if we make it through we are good to go. It is ongoing, as long as we are here on this earth. But God does promise that if we bear it up with patience, He will bless us. And what a blessing, the Crown of Life. It really puts an amazing perspective on things.

Tonight I have helped myself out a little towards enduring with patience. I have deleted my Sweet Stuff pin board. I may need to get to a point of staying off the site altogether. That is okay. Because I will one day receive my reward that is so much sweeter than anything there.

A Recipe for You

This week, the realities of life have definitely hit. I've realized how blessed I've been the last several months to have the liberty to go the gym just about whenever I want. That has all changed this week. My early morning trips are out since I have to get up and get Evie ready to be out the door and on the way to kindergarten by 7:00 in the morning. I also started a part-time teaching job this week. I have one class in the morning from 10-11 and then have to be back by 2:30. In between I have to fit in lunch and nap for Eliza. Needless to say, it's been a juggling act, but I've managed to fit in at least my C25K workouts.

Food logging has gone out the door this week, as well. I've done my best to mind what I am eating but there is so much more room for slipping in the little things here and there when you aren't writing them down. To be honest, why writing food down helps keep me in line is that I'm lazy. When I weigh the effort of figuring out the calories in 3 chips v. the pleasure of eating the chips, well, the chips lose.

I thought I would share a recipe today. This is one I made to take to the infamous family reunion. It is based off of a recipe my mother makes that is yummy delicious. Her version uses Ramen noodles and the seasoning packet. The Ramen noodles do lend a nice crunch, but I wanted that crunch without the Ramen noodles. So I substituted pumpkin seeds. I think it tastes fine without the seasoning in the dressing too. But if you try and find some seasoning that tastes good with it, please let me know!

(I apologize I don't have beautiful pictures of this as many blogs do. I'm not even sure where my camera is right now.)

Broccoli Slaw

In a large bowl mix together:
1 package broccoli slaw
1/2 c. chopped pecans (I like them finely chopped)
1/2 c. sunflower seeds
1/2 c. pumpkin seeds

In a smaller bowl mix together:
1/4 c. extra virgin olive oil
1/4 c. apple cider vinegar
1/4 c. agave nectar (you could probably substitute honey just fine)

Pour the dressing over the slaw mixture and stir everything together very thoroughly since the seeds and nuts tend to gravitate to the bottom.

To the best of my calculations, this makes 4-5 c. with approximately 243 calories per cup.

Enjoy!

Weigh In Day

Another 2.8 lbs downs!!!

I wasn't sure how today would go. I've had a couple of iffy days. One day I stayed in my calorie limit, but ate foods that were not so great for me - a slice of pizza and some frozen yogurt. Saturday, we ate at my parents' house. I did my best with the food choices, but did eat a tiny bit of rice and potatoes.

I will say out of this has come a big dawning realization. I used to think it didn't quite matter so much what I ate when it came to losing weight, as long as I stayed within my calorie range. I am realizing that is simply not true.

I may lose weight eating pizza and ice cream. But I am going to lose it faster if I eat the right foods. Plus eating those things made my body feel bad. Without delving into the details, let's just say my digestive system was not happy with some of the choices I've made.

So it's reaffirmed my decision to cut out all simple carbs like rice and potatoes, breads (pizza crust) and other nutritionally lacking foods. My eating will consist primarily of lean meats, fruits and veggies and smaller amounts of whole grains (like oatmeal).

If anyone's curious exactly what I'm doing, I exercise at least 3 days a week. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday I am running the Couch to 5K program. I do walk longer than the program requires to make my total workout usually anywhere from 45 - 60 minutes. I have started incorporating some weight training these days as well, but I need to get a better routine as far as that goes. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I now try to get to the gym to swim laps and then do a yoga class. This week, I didn't make it to the pool until yesterday afternoon.

So yes, I am losing weight going to the gym 3 days a week and limiting my calories to 1800. This may not work for everyone, I know for a fact that I have a higher metabolism (thanks to my super-smart professor brother-in-law. But this is working for me!

I'm off now to finish getting a little girl ready for her first day of kindergarten! Wish me luck that I'm not a blubbering mess!

Post-Reunion Weigh In

So today is weigh-in day. The scale is exactly the same as this time last week. While I'm a bit disappointed at no loss at all, I'm not overly surprised and I am thrilled that there is no gain. I consider that a victory in the face of the family reunion.

We had a great time, in case you were wondering. And overall I did well. Not perfect, I did nibble a few bites of brownie. But preparing helped so much. And as tempting as that dessert table was, it made it easier to resist as I sat across from a family member with a plate full of goodies and listened as she declared, "Well, I guess the diet will start again on Monday."

Not for me, nope. No more Mondays. That statement was exactly what I need to shoo away the thoughts rolling around in my head. "Just one cookie won't hurt. One piece of cake won't be so bad."

I feel as if this post is a bit disjointed this morning. My 5 year old is going through one of her wakeful stages. She cycles through these phases where she will wake in the night for most nights in a week. Since Thursday, she has woken us up all but one night. And when she does this, she usually wakes us more than once because she can't go back to sleep.

It's been a while since I've gotten a good night's sleep. I shut off the alarm this morning and didn't make it to the gym. I really have too much to do to haul the girls to the gym with me, but I will. I really need to make this week count.

Taking my scattered thoughts and saying goodbye for the morning.

Small Step, Big Victory

This morning everything was stacked against me. I was very tired for many reasons. Just getting out of bed was hard enough. But I took that step. I needed to go to the gym early because I have too much to do later.

So step by step, I made myself get ready. My body was fighting me the whole way to get back in bed. Thankfully my will to finish out this week's run was stronger. Bit by bit I made it to the gym.

Today's run was 20 minutes of running, no stopping. For more than a week now, I've been thinking it impossible. I've been thinking there'd be no way I'd be ready for it. I went back forth trying to decide if I should repeat W5D2 today and then do week 5 over again next week.

Finally I decided to just do it. Nothing would be lost for lack of trying. The worst thing that would happen would be that I would end up having to take a break.

I'm so glad I pushed myself to do it. Because I did it. I finished. Yep, me. I ran 20 minutes. It's probably been more than 10 years since I've ran that much.

And you know what? It felt great. It felt great to finish, to set my mind to something and do it. One more little step along the way.

"I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

Press on, my friends, press on.

Preparedness

I have tried to be as prepared as I can be for this weekend. I have some things I am going to make to eat and take with me. I've bought some healthy snacks for myself and the girls. I've talked with my sister who many years ago went through her own weight loss battle and has kept it off. I am thankful she will be there as I know she will be a big support. I am praying, praying that God will be with me and give the strength I need. I will take Bible and Made to Crave and my memory verse cards to give my mind something to occupy itself.

I have been mentally preparing to deal with other people. It's amazing how people with such unhealthy eating habits tend to pick on those who make more healthful choices. I know this happens, and will happen because I've seen it happen to my sister over the years. I guess it's insecurity, wishfulness for the kind of discipline it takes to eat well on a regular basis?

At any rate, I feel as prepared as I can and I feel all I can do now is make the best choices I can, stick to the plan I have and trust in the Lord for strength.


"But in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect" 1 Peter 3:15

Inspiration

This is what I need to remember this week. This week will not be about physical strength, but an emotional strength I am going to have to dig deep to find.

This week is setting up to be a tough one.

Hurdle #1: I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for the scale result next week. Even though it's technically week 3, the first week's results were so dismal that it feela like week 2. Yes, I'm a Biggest Loser junkie, and therefore preparing myself that week 2's results will be less than stellar, at least as far as numbers go. I also know the fact that I've started weight training and swimming will make a difference, as that will build muscle which can affect the scale.

So, mental prep #1: It's not just about the numbers. I know that if I do my best, I can look back and feel successful about the week, regardless of the number.

Hurdle #2: It's getting to be that time of the month. Oh yes, this is the week that it normally hits hardest. The sweets cravings. The moodiness. The sleep issues which make the first and second even harder to deal with. Not to mention the bloating, which can add 2+ pounds to the scale.

Mental Prep #2: You do not need chocolate or sweets. You CAN do it.

Hurdle #3: Family reunion. Oh my, the family reunion, the exhibition of where all my bad eating habits have come from. For breakfasts there will be eggs, bacon, sausage, biscuits and gravy galore! Friday's dinner will be a fish fry complete with hushpuppies and french fries, and the assorted mayo laden salads that other family members bring. Saturday's dinner is hot dogs and more mayo laden salads. Sunday's lunch rounds out the weekend with ribs and fried chicken, and you guessed - more mayo salads. Oh we can't forget dessert. Each meal will not have one or two desserts but an entire dessert table. That glorious beacon of cakes, cookies, brownies and pies. And will be left sitting out for nibbling all the day long.

Mental Prep #3: Prepare. That's all I can do is prepare. Mentally walking through the days and the food choices I will make. I am also planning to take food with. I will make some side dishes which are mayo free. We will also have a fridge in our cabin, so I will be brining healthy foods, not for me only, but my girls as well. I want healthy snacks available for them, not the cookies, brownies and other treats we consumed in a free-for-all as children.

I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. I can make this week successful.

This Morning's Weigh In

Drumroll please.....



A loss of 4.4 lbs this week!!!

Yeah, I'm doing a happy dance this morning!!

Filling the Emptiness

"I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe."

Ephesians 1:17 - 19


This morning God did grant me a bit of wisdom, a bit of revelation and I am thankful for that.

I've recently started following the SINS blog and some others and this morning discovered the WOD Talk, an ezine. It was my excitement and reaction to discovering it that brought about this revelation, as I thought, "Another good fitness reading to fill my mind."

See, the last few days, I've been trying to fill my thoughts and mind with thoughts of working out, training, getting fit. I figure if I can replace some not so good things that have occupying my thoughts lately with positive ones of fitness and exercise, surely I will succeed.

And then it hit me. What Lysa has been trying to tell me through her book. Filling my thoughts with exercise and fitness may be better than other things, but if I do so, I will still fail. I will fail as surely as I did when I used to fill myself with food. I will still feel as empty, because nothing can take the place of my God.

So I am setting out to fill my thoughts with his Truth. The verse at the beginning of this post will be my memory verse this week, one that I will think when my mind finds itself with nothing else to do. Reading fitness publications is not a bad thing at all. But I cannot use it to replace my God.

God, I thank you, that even before seeking out this verse this morning, you did just what it said and filled me with your spirit of wisdom and revelation.

"There's no magic pill...no special clothes (although a "SINS" tank might help! ;))...NO shortcuts to being truly fit and STRONG! Do what it takes! You WON'T regret it if you take the time and put in the work!" ~Marsha (SINS)




"You are stronger than you think."

A little inspiration for the day.

Coming back to add one more, fitting for my post from Monday.

A Better Day

Today is another day as they say. I'm feeling much less whiny than I was yesterday.

This may be in part because I did C25K Week 4 Day 1 yesterday. It was challenging, but completely doable, and I was able to chat a bit with a friend during one of the running segments. That makes me feel good.

It makes me feel like I can accomplish this 5K thing. If I keep on track, and barring any injuries, I should easily be able to run a local 5K that is scheduled for the end of October.

As far as the weight issue, I've looked back over my eating log. As I said I mostly stayed in my calorie limit. I didn't go over by so much (100 calories at most) that I should have lost so little. But I looked at the type of foods I ate - too many treats, breads, etc.

It has made me realize that for now, I HAVE to stay away from these things, not even in moderation right now. They will not help me succeed. So later today I will sit down and make a no-no list. I feel I can put it off until later, because I am feeling empowered and good today, and I know I will make the right choices until then.

It worries me feeling this way though, because I know while I feel good now, tomorrow may be miserable and may be one of those days where I screw everything up. I can't worry about that right now, right? One small step at a time.

First Weigh In

"...God loves you so much that He doesn't want you to stay in a place of defeat."

"...God loves you so much that He doesn't want you to stay in a place of defeat."

"...God loves you so much that He doesn't want you to stay in a place of defeat."

"...God loves you so much that He doesn't want you to stay in a place of defeat."

Craving God, A 21-Day Devotional Challenge by Lysa TerKeurst


I need to pound this message into my head. I am feeling unbelievably defeated today.

After a week of hard workouts, and mostly staying within my calorie limit, I only lost .4 lbs, per my official weigh in.

That is very depressing, especially mid-week showed a 3 lb loss.

Did I really screw it up that badly over the weekend? I didn't think so, but apparently I did.

I want to cry. I feel like I will never get past this right now. It doesn't help that I am utterly exhausted from my 2-year-old keeping me during the night.

I know it's not right to feel this way, but I feel like I am being punished. I feel like a failure. Like I will never ever get there.

I guess this is when God wants me to lean on Him more. But I am a failure at that too.

How do I do it, when the roll is in my mouth before I can even think to rely on Him, to turn to prayer? I don't get it, I just don't.